Marie Taylor Online

Be careful what you wish for

Do you recall this phrase from childhood?  Maybe you still use it now, or possibly others use it around you.  Mostly it is used in a negative way to scold. Often “be careful what you wish for “is used in response to people who say they either wish or anticipate something awful or negative may happen to themselves or another.

 

I was reminded of it yesterday at the first meeting of the Creation Experiment  We were discussing our ideas to manifest great things for individuals, groups and globally. We aim to attract great things through the collective power of attraction.

 

When I was a child a catholic nun told my friend and I that when we asked for something for someone else it was important to make that request with “care” and with a “full heart”. She was referring to prayers of course and encouraged us to make requests for help clearly and carefully. For you NLP people this would be called “proper naming.” Making it with a full heart was of course about making the request with positive intent and with love. That is, not wishing anything ill or anything negatively towards someone.

 

So, be careful what you wish for this week and let’s give this powerful saying a positive spin in future shall we?

What colour are you wearing today?

I am always banging on at career coaching clients about the importance of image both in terms of career and in relation to confidence.Conveying a visual message using clothing and colour has an immediacy about it. Whether we like it or not we judge and are judged very quickly on visual appearance . So making an impact appropriately cannot be underestimated.

Lots of people write on colour psychology but this summary by Style2you about how colour psychology can help your business is a great summary. Take a look. then take a look in the mirror.Must go and swap my black top for a red one.............

Drama triangles and managing the drama kings and queens

I was talking with a client yesterday about the drama triangle. We were discussing her team and the games they play to try and get her to be "empathetic mummy manager" I first came across this theorywhen I worked as a HR Officer in a child protection organisation many moons ago. In very simple terms It goes like this...

 In abuse situations  there are three types of players; victim, persecutor and rescuer. I have noticed in organisations that staff and managers often get themselves into this little triangular relationship. Once there, it can be quite difficult to extricate yourself as an employee or as a manager. For example, if you are aggressive towards your staff and that tips over into bullying you become perpetrator, the member of staff becomes a victim and he or she looks for someone to rescue them and that normally is a HR person, a union representative, your boss or a lawyer.

Equally, if you see staff struggling with something it is so easy sometimes to see them/treat them as a victim (or for their colleagues to do so) and for you to start rescuing them by either giving them less work, making lots of allowances etc Now this is often appropriate management action.Where it isn't appropriate and maybe you start "covering up" for someone, they will normally look to identify a perpetrator.This can be your boss, the organisation or their colleague who works faster and smarter than them.

So, what's to be done? Identifying that it's happening is the first step, tackling the perpetrator or his/her behaviour if there really is a problem is the next step. If not, keep the dialogue and the management of the problem at a very adult to adult level. Make expectations around work really clear, behave in an adult manner, don't be tempted to collude or alternatively lose your temper. Keep the dialogue round like a wheel and moving forwards! 

Wishing and wanting and hoping and waiting....

  As a gal who rarely denies herself much at all when I am in the mood (As the new Wii FIT and GHD straighteners and expensive Philip Kingsley shampoo and conditioner which all arrived this morning will attest to) I would make this wee contribution to get you thinking today.

This has been prompted by my friend and top gal Judith Morgan (see www.judithmorgan.com and www.themoneygym.com). Life is way too short to not do/have the things you want, particularly those things that brighten your day (flowers fall in here for me) or make you go mmmm (clean crisp sheets here) IF you can afford it and even if you can S-T-R-E-T-C-H to it and it makes you happy then why not just do it? I wash my own gear and dry it .The lovely cleaner does a bit each week but tis not her forte. so..I periodically get the ironing shop down the road to collect it and return it in all that very un_PC plastic and wire hangers (I take the wire hangers back when I am passing to assuage my guilty footprint). There’s a great florist at my tube station who does the best hand tied bouquets this side of Columbia Road Market. I buy one every fortnight if I am passing through and I reckon this costs me around £300- £400 a year. She is a small stallholder, built her business from nowt but a £500 inheritance form her granny 12 years ago and that keeps me going there rather than waitrose or tescos who freeze their flowers to make them look good and last only 7 days.

 The flowers are an essential aesthetic to bring joy and delight into my life each week. I work hard and I deserve them. In 5-10 years time some of the things we consider luxuries will be seen as essentials not options. Just think about many of our mothers who would not entertain a cleaner as though that was an indulgence or somehow giving in to failure on the domestic goddess front. I am all for starting the "efficient domestic slut enjoying life indulgence brigade”. Now, that said, a little word of caution to all of you joining me in getting out your 0% credit card as I write. Can you afford it, does it make your life easier and bring you joy and finally -does it earn you your efficiency badge in the domestic goddess/ slut brigade-either brigade will do.

Now for the best bit. My list of luxuries I would like. One day.

A proper personal assistant - Someone to walk around after me and pick up on every thought, every to do that comes out of my head- cards, appointments, research, picking up laundry, taking stuff to repair shops, calling the plumber, waiting in for whoever, signing for packages, getting me people to do the admin when I get overloaded (before I get overloaded actually) etc....I want one now but is the cost of the GHDs and the Wii fits in my life stopping me from having one I ask?        

A swimming pool - I would like to get my swimmy on first thing and just dive in (well flop never been very good at diving)

Someone who pops around when I am not looking to keep my front path free of leaves, paper and the recycling box in order- If they could do the weeding and take the weeds away too that would be great- a kind of front garden fairy.

A designated parking space outside my house so that I never have to load and unload almost a street away when the parking angel has stopped listening and has gone on strike (she provides a good solution to the parking 9 times out of 10)

A magimix and ice cream maker- I know I would never use either enough to justify having them and they would irritate me taking up kitchen space but I would like one of each someday all the same- probably when I have a bigger kitchen.

A BandO system that wakes you up saying "time to get up marie.. time to get up..." and has a great sound

I'd also like a talking watch that programmes itself to alert me 15 minutes before I am due to leave one place to get to another with a message something like "move your backside or for want of trying to fit in too many things you will be late again oh tardy one"

A personal trainer who comes to me on demand- i.e. I've got an hour, get over here before I change my mind about the squats and crunches.

Everyday luxuries I would like to have always rather than treats include ..

Neals yard hand wash

Penhaligons room spray and candles

Egyptian cotton many threaded sheets from that little linen house near Selfridges- crisp white or cream

Jo Malone orange blossom shower gel

A pedicure and reflexology weekly

Bollinger

Pol Roger Sir Winston Churchill

The means to book a holiday anytime to anywhere I want for however long , and with whoever I want to pay for too.(this is the number one lux)

Time

Now you may think I have gone extravagance mad. I haven't. These things are top of mind. I’ve been thinking a lot about what I want for me and mine a lot today because in this last week one of my dearest and oldest friends (aged 46 and fit) had a serious but thankfully not fatal (thanks to the good and truly wonderful NHS) heart attack. Also, a school friend who I have not seen in years died of liver failure from hitting the bottle for the last 5 years leaving a hubby and a small child.

This makes you think doesn’t it- So I encourage you to consider, what makes you happy? What luxuries would you have in your everyday life if you could afford them? Can you see a time when you can have them? Can you at least give yourself a little taste of luxury, a little smidgen of indulgence this week?

Who’s next? Send me your list and let’s get manifesting....

Meanwhile I'd better manifest my posterior downstairs to open the Wi fit box and get it set up.

Enjoy

Marie

Careers - Majority looking to leave their employers post recession

Well it seems that most people with a J-O-B are looking to leave their employer when they have an opportunity to do so in the post recession upswing. I read it in the Times and the metro so it must be true.

Why? Why is a mass exodus envisaged when that darling mr darling or some other in his shoes tells us that we are on the up and up? If you look at employment trends since the 70s this always happens post recession.

There's a pattern to people shifting jobs and it seems 2 key things influence you.- The seasons and sense of security/loyalty. I'm talking about the seasonal bit now and the loyalty bit later.

It's a well known fact that in September/October around 2-4 weeks after your two weeks somewhere lovely and relaxing you will be thinking of change. Now this may be all-sorts of change from wallpaper to the continent you live in but for many, it involves a job change or a shift in the old career.y'see when you relax and clear your head get rid of fuzzy thinking and you start thinking about the most important person in the world- YOU. This rethink happens for some in January- new year new job stuff. For others, in April/May as spring is sprouting and new shoots make you think of new roots.

It's around now that many of you will be thinking about what you want, what your ambitions are, what you value, what your legacy is, what your dream is and how you are going to achieve ir. Are you?....

Are you going to achieve it -whatever "iT" is?.............. 

Like a lion with a sore head and women called Lisa

Do you ever have those days when you are so challenged by people and technology that you wish you could start again?

Today is one of those. It started with the delivery of a parcel. I've been waiting for something to arrive from the states and had expected it today. Mr.Fed-Ex turned up and I got all excited only to find that he didn't have anything on his truck for me but "wondered if I'd mind taking in two parcels for neighbours". Now, I'm a community minded soul so I said yes. Then I saw one of the parcels,. Suffice to say that had I kept it I would not have been able to move down the hallway as it was the size of a small wardrobe. So I said "woah. No I can't keep that one". Well you should have heard the huffing and puffing and muttering under the breath.

Then , I received a pre-bailiff demand for a bill that isn't mine and never has been. I phoned the Council (the claimant) and spoke to ineffectual chap who made comments like "So I am writing here that you are saying that you do not know this person and they do not live at this address. You do know don't you that this can be used as evidence?"

You know you need to consider your career when....

This is such a great post from Anne Walsh that made me laugh out loud. I had to share it on this dull day. A great coach see more at her site (Anne Walsh)
 

1. You fantasise about working in a tollbooth on the M50...read on..
2. The highlights of the day are tea breaks and lunchtime.
3. You know you have said all this before but you can't remember when.
4. You keep ringing the talking clock because you know the clock in work is slow by a few hours.
5. You go to work and when you return home you have no memory of what happened in between.
6. You wonder what the new person at work is so enthusiastic about.
7. You volunteer to do the photocopying for everyone.
8. You wish your customers would leave you alone...they always seem to want something.
9. You pretend to be on the dole when people ask you what you do.
10. You create a calendar that shows how many days you have until retirement.
11. You mark off each day on your calendar with a big black marker.
12. You wonder idly what it would be like to spend time in Mountjoy (prison)...and speculate that it really couldn't be much worse than this job.
13. You offer to swap jobs with the cleaning staff.
14. You begin to think about beginning to smoke...at least it gets you out of the office.
15. You wonder why all the stupid people of the universe congregate in your office.
16. You spend all week thinking about the weekend and spend most of Sunday dreading going to work.
17. You consider going to the zoo and hiring a monkey to do your job...you doubt if anyone would notice the difference.
18. You wonder what sort of deeds you committed in a past life to get saddled with your job, colleagues and boss...and speculate that you were probably Attila the Hun.
19. You have rung in sick with so many excuses that you are rapidly running out of dead relations and illnesses. You have already tried the Ebola virus and bird flu. Your boss has pointed out that most people only have 4 grandparents.
20. You spend time on the Internet researching excuses to stay out of work.
21. You can't think of one thing you like about your job...and you have tried. You really have.
22. You have 5 recruitment agencies on speed dial and 10 jobs websites in your favourites (and a jobs website as your home page)
23. You ring a friend asking them what they are doing now...even though you've already done that 4 times this morning.
24. You check out work visas in Afghanistan
25. You get morning sickness at the idea of going to work...and you're a man.
26. You read lots of books and articles about changing your job/career.

If you do SERIOUSLY have any of these experiences or similar, you need to take control of your career rather than let it manage you. See my e boook/ecourse to purchase at Career and a Life where there are also some free tips to get that work-life balance back in check. If you are fantasing about the tollbooth you might also make an appointment with your gp.
Enjoy

Marie

Isn't Alistair a Darling?

I rather like a bit of politics in my life and so I move between: being furious, to Mrs middle England, to Attila the Hun and on, to mildly amused by Mr.Darling and the like.I say "the like" because frankly they're all blending into one for me these days.We need an overhaul of how we do things on the UK I think.The system, the morals, the boundaries, its machinery in all its machinations isn't working anymore.

This gets me thinking about the organisations I do consultancy work in and what happens when the wheels drop off allbeit temporarily.In much of the Organisational Development work I do there's a people dimension and sometimes people behave in very strange ways. This can be in response to things going wrong,anticipation of them going wrong or in order to provoke them into starting to go wrong.People can sometimes behave like megalomaniacs, mice or lemmings. One might think that people and their shenanigans would shape up during recession- not necessarily so. For some, hard times mean retrenchment and we can see the emergence of jobsworth behaviour, autocratic management or outright rebellion. Equally, some become meek and indifferent afraid to be noticed in case someone realises they forgot to make them redundant.I've been developing a program on values and behaviours recently for a medium sized privately owned organisation who are experiencing some ripples of behaviour they find unacceptable.......

Winning Awards and Celebrating Outsourcing

Very exciting week.

Our Living Right Now www.livingrightnow.co.uk web site homepage has won the Everywoman Network Award.A vote of recognition by other everywoman members-peers, entrepreneurs.I'm absolutely delighted.

It feels like the first public endorsement of what we are aiming to do with living right now. Women who have visited the site are "getting it". They're understanding our relatively simple philosophy, they like the layout. they're signing up to receive the freebies and are enjoying the free downloads.

I've been putting the final touches to the licensed version of Get Your Career in Gear , my ebook/ecourse on developing your own career management system this week available at Career and A Life .We've received our first 500 of the printed inspirational cards aimed ay women-they're lovely. The book cover and illustrations for our tips book for professional women is almost complete.

It has got me thinking about outsourcing, about my experience of using the expertise of others and the lessons learnt in doing so.

Over the last 7 years in business, I've spent a considerable amount of time working on the design of my websites, on reviewing designs for logos and brand promoting materials, on looking at the layout of cards, books and the like -on considering colourways in various guises.

It took me quite a long time in business to start delegating things out to others and seek advice from others with more expertise,ideas and energy to produce things for me in specific areas
of my businesses. I use an assistant and VA services form time to time when the workload in the consultancy business gets heavy.

What makes all of these relationships work? They haven't always worked, so I am thinking that today is an opportune time to recognise what does.

• Relationship,intuition,relationship.If I can't "click" with a person I just know it's not going to work.I need to like them and respect them-quickly. 
• Track record.Have they done what they say they've done and even if they have little experience because they're new to business, do I believe that they can deliver the goods?
• Are they going to deliver on time? I'm someone who takes on too much, sometimes works to the wire and yet ALWAYS delivers on time.If a supplier can't, I'm not interested.
• Is the quality of their work good and VFM? If I have to chase someone, check their work consistently or get nervous about what they're going to churn out for the ££ paid it reminds me of being a Senior Manager/HR Director and that experience of constantly managing and monitoring .I left corporate life in part because I was bored with that, so why would I entertain it now?
• Can they tell it to me straight? I don't have time to waste.So, if someone needs me to do/say/present something differently so that they can understand what's required or doesn't agree with or like what I'm doing,I'd rather they told me-quick.(Even if I don't like it and need to lie down in a darkened room for 10 minutes)
• Do they do what they do with good intentions? Intention plus delivery is everything to me.If someone messes up and makes a mistake, I'm not likely to shout and scream if it's genuine and they've done their best ( 2000 leaflets printed with the wrong web address sitting in a garage somewhere are testament to that) We all mess up sometimes.I'm more interested in what the person intends to do to make it right and get back on track without waiting for me to resolve it. like solution focused people.
• Me- can I make myself available, give feedback quickly enough and give enough feedback clearly to keep things moving and get a win win for both of us?
• Can I articulate clearly what I want, what I need by when and where it fits in my business so that outsourced suppliers get it and get me?

So, to those of you who have supplied me with business support to develop my businesses in the last 7 years here you are.Thankyou;Sarah Patience,Gary Hoyte,Ros Barker, Vicky Greig, Jan McCarthy,Martin and Nick at This is chemistry,Lisa Trouliotis, Keely Crowe, Judith Morgan, Nicola Cairncross, Steve Watson, Marion Ryan,Claire Raikes,Philip Samuel,Rohan,Alexandra Chalfont,Sue at Bossco,Nicola King, Leda, Samantha De Barry and If I forgot you it was only in this moment!

Marie

 
   

Looking for inspiration?

I have been beavering away in recent months with my business partner in Living Right Now, Jeni.  We have been finishing off our lovely book and have now sent our inspiration cards off to the printers. Although I say so myself, the cards are a lovely little resource. We've designed them with professional women with little time in mind. A handy card sized pack (just small enough to slip into your luggage on business trips) full of tips and reflections to give you food for thought in that quiet 5 minutes that you can find to focus simply on you. We really want to encourage women across the world to take even a little time each day or each week just for YOU. We know you're busy, we know that squeezing in me time can be difficult.
We also know that spending just 5 to 10 minutes a day just on you, can reap enormous benefits. Whether it is a little time at home, at work, on the train, in your hotel room.It doesn't matter where. What matters is that you make time for you.Some now time to bring some fresh perspective and present focus.I think you're going to love them. If you sign up at the site now, you will be offered a discount when they're ready in April. Just in time for an Easter bunny treat.