Marie Taylor Online

"The happiness of a man in this life does not consist in the absence but in the mastery of his passions."

Alfred Lord Tennyson

Supercoach Academy here I come!

Well. I have just had a brilliant coaching session with supercoach Michael Neill . He is SOOOOO insightful. I've joined his supercoach academy and will be joining him in New York  for 6 weekends plus loads of teleclasses etc in 2010. I can't wait. As a coach, I invest in my own training and personal development for 2 reasons- me and you.And what better reason could there be? I just know that I am going to grow in the quality of my practice and as a person through this training.

How do I know ? Because I know Michael is a great teacher from my reading. I intuitively know he is a great enabler and consummate professional and that he cares about the quality of what he is delivering. I know that I always learn from people who stretch me to think-My brain is aching after the hour with him today.I know that I am going to meet some more great coaches who are attending the academy and that we will learn from each other.SO what's not to know? That's all I need.

What about you? What do you need to know to invest in you? When you make decisions about developing yourself be that buying a book, attending a workshop or some more in depth training.What do you need to know? How do you decide?

Michael and I talked about all sorts of stuff today.One of the most challenging questions that Michael put to me was one derived from the work of Marcus Buckingham  on successful people and the one thing you need to know His question was "Have you figured out yet what it is that you don't like doing and have you stopped doing it"? We talked about the fact that even if you are excellent at something and people love you and want you for it, It doesn't mean you have to keep doing it.

So, what are you doing that you no longer want to do even if you are the best thing since sliced bread at doing it?

I guess the bigger question is WHY?

I'll leave you to ponder and wonder or wander.

mariex

 

In praise of miraculous mothers

Its my mother's anniversary of passing this week. She died a number of years ago when I was a mere teenager (ok nearly 30 years ago) which is a strange time to lose a parent particularly your mum.

Anyway, I always think about her at this time when the nights are drawing in and its a bit dingy. For some reason November reminds me of her wearing a medal for church. A miraculous medal.  She was big on catholicism and Mary's graces were/are passed to those wearing the medal . No idea whether there is a connection with November and the medal in the catholic calender. This has me thinking about grace and what is grace.

The dictionary describes grace as the state of receiving a positive benefit (sometimes one we don't seemingly deserve). It's a greek word meaning "affording joy, pleasure, delight, sweetness, loveliness." From what I remember my mother like many mothers had lots of grace and distributed lots of it too.

I wonder if she wore the medal to receive grace, give grace or what- No idea. It's one of those things that I will probably never know along with lots of other things those of us who have lost significant people will never know about them.  So here's to miraculous mothers with or without medals.If your mother is still around send her some grace today.If she's not, accept some from me- you deserve it you miraculous person you.

Marie x

The day I mistook a tampon for a pen

I have had days of trying to do too much and not getting very far in the last week. It will change tomorrow. In an attempt to lighten my own mood I thought I would share some of my various indicators of discord in the last 8 days;

Opened the bedroom window, a gust of wind arrived at that very moment and a receipt for something I wanted to return flew off the dressing table. I have searched the garden high and low .The cat 2 doors down must have eaten it.

Ascended into the loft and hit my head on a beam then tripped over an old suitcase (now in tip because I threw it down the loft ladder together with a diatribe of very unladylike expletives)

Went to a client meeting and instead of pulling a highlighter pen out of my briefcase I pulled out a super tampax and put it on the table (both yellow and in a dim light looked the same to me) 

Ran for a tube train and got my coat stuck in the doors and received a very sarcastic response from the driver who reluctantly opened them with " Please avoid doing impressions of a leaping idiot when boarding this train as it's liable to lead to injury"

Bit into an apple and bit my lip at the same time- drawing blood.

Came out of the wrong door at a prospective client's high security building and nearly caused an international incident involving 2 security guards and a policemen.They laughed at my impression of a blithering bimbo. I didn't as my life in a prison cell flashed before me.(Not holding out much hope of getting that work).

Off to do some yoga, meditate and find a black cat to leap over three times before bedtime. 

Marie

Are you still too frightened to explore and change?

Hold on, man.  We don't go anywhere with "scary," "spooky," "haunted," or "forbidden" in the title.  Scooby-Doo

I found this quote whilst looking for halloween quotes for a game at home with 5-11 year olds and it reminded me of some of my coaching work. Sometimes in coaching people say things like;

" I can't go there it's too scary" or

" Do you know what happened to me this week? I thought about something I wanted to happen at work , I kept thinking that's what I would like and do you know -it happened! or

" I am haunted by the sheer embarrassment of that situation, presentation"-whatever or

" I wanted to do/say that but in our house (or our place of work) standing up/ speaking out was forbidden"

So, this autumn, as winter approaches and you re-evaluate where you are and where you would like to be, think about those gremlins that don't belong to you. Those phrases in your head that stop you from getting to where you want to be and from being who you want to be. Forget the christmas wish list. Start writing your christmas want and will have list

What scares you and what do you want anyway?-tell me.

Marie

Ghosts and ghouls in the wardrobe

Okay tis the end of the lighter half of the year as we celebrate all hallows and give a nod to those passed with the lighting of the lanterns we hope that any lost souls will pass through and rest.

It's also a great time to have a bit of a clear out physically (getting rid of anything I don't wear, play or read for me) and mentally( letting go of limiting beliefs that hold me back sometimes for me).

So, as the ghouls, witches, wizards and ghosts fly, whizz or sweep past tonight, what will you be clearing?

Must go- got to put the treats on the doorknob for those little beasts with the eggs, flour and jam.

Whatever you are doing tonight and whether you recognise hallows and halloween or not...

May Jack-o-lanterns burning bright

Of soft and golden hue
Pierce through the future’s veil and show
What fate now holds for you.
~Author Unknown

Marie

Splitting my Infinitives

I have always split my infinitives . I have had it pointed out to me on several occasions and I am now wondering whether it is time to stop rebelling. Here's why. In previous times the people who pointed out this gross ill mannered grammatical gaff were people who I didn't particularly "take to". One teacher, one boss and one somewhat overly pedantic client I was coaching around his relationship with his staff who found him overly critical. .More recently, my friend Bianca emailed me in horror wit the line, "Marie are you aware you are splitting your infinitives!?" Despite the fact that this sounds excruciatingly painful , it has made me think about whether it's time to stop the rebellious teenager routine. Now I like Bianca and if my split infinitives upset her maybe it's time to rethink(or to think again?)

Anyway, for those of you who wouldn't recognise a split infinitive if you fell down it..It is essentially the incorrect use of of a verb (a doing word starting with "to") . It is the incorrect use of the verb occasioned by the insertion of an adverb or some other word between the "to" and the intended verb thereby changing both its appearance and meaning. (stay with me) For those of you who didn't read your First Aid in English, an adverb is what is says.It adds to the "to do" word and changes it from a doing word to a description of the original verb.

A recognisable example oft quoted is from the Trekkies.The first generation Star Trek or whatever the one is called from the 60s and 70s.

"To boldly go where no man has gone before" If the infinitives were not split it would read..

"To go boldly where no man has gone before"

Doesn't sound quite the same does it? The last one sounds a bit Jane Austen " And Darcy did emerge from the lake and didst go boldly where no man has gone before- to mine heart " (I know what you were thinking).

Ah after all that, I think I will split away to my heart's content or should that be to be content of my heart?

Whether you are splitting or spitting with your grammar-enjoy

Marie

Come dine with me

I have phases of loving TV and at the moment I am really enjoying MasterChef   and the odd episode of Come Dine With Me .
It's quite amazing what human beings are capable of under pressure in the kitchen and the passion they demonstrate for their craft be it in the quest of winning a prestigous title or the positive feedback of peers. I guess it was always thus. As human beings we like to show what we can do, what we can create. Most of us enjoy being in teams and like assessing or "soft judging" our colleagues and whether we admit it or not- we are competitive creatures.What about you? Are you more of a masterchef in it to win it? Or are you a come dine with me contender in it to win but enjoying the collective experience of assessing your colleagues?

 

Do we value all types of talent enough?

"Some critics will write 'Maya Angelou is a natural writer' - which is right after being a natural heart surgeon". Maya Angelou

Do we value the effort and craft that is evidenced in different types of careers? In my career coaching work I am endlessly amazed by the talents people have that they take for granted. This is either because they believe they have "always had a talent for it" or see it as "just part of doing the job" and similar comments. Sometimes people do have a natural talent for, a gift for. things. But there are also those who have crafted their talent and skill over years. Those  who have skills that a number of people see as easy or soft skills that can be replicated by them.

I see this most often when people are in transition and are looking for career change. Some clients view skills such as teaching, writing, coaching, marketing and the like as those skills that they can just acquire easily and make a change towards quickly, normally whilst retaining their existing salary rather than starting at an entry level to a  new profession.

When I am with these clients I feel like the Simon Cowell of xfactor careers. I find myself thinking "Who says you can write? You may always feel you have had a book inside you but maybe you just need a strong dose of syrup of figs" or "You like people and are good at dealing with people's problems so you think you would make a great coach. Really? I'm good with fish but Rick Stein I aint" or " I like telling people what I know and presenting and I love kids so I think I'd make a great teacher. Ah of course 35 little loves in an inner city school are just desperate to hear your pearls of wisdonm delivered by powerpoint"

Anyway of course I don't , because I do fundamentally believe that if anyone is passionate enough about something they can normally make a change and achieve a new career. It's my job in this context to help clients to explore what is possible for them challenge their thinking and to explore options towards a new future. I do however suggest books like Outliers  that highlight research which shows that it takes around 10 years and a lot of work to become expert in a field of endeavour just to encourage them to walk before running too fast over a deep chasm.   

 

What is Art for?

"It is the function of art to renew our perception. What we are familiar with we cease to see. the writer shakes up the familiar scene, and, as if by magic, we see a new meaning in it" Anais Nin

I have been hanging art in my sitting room today. I have bought a few new pieces of art with some inheritance money in the last 12 months.I am very grateful to Elaine and Andrew at Art in the Mill who have a great eye for buying art that I love and for great framing skills. Framing is a vastly under rated skill and Andy is one of those people who looks at a painting and from his experience, "just knows" what works. I am really enjoying my Steve Capper and my Richard Snowden pictures 

I really enjoy looking at paintings, choosing paintings and choosing frames. I love REALLY looking at pictures, looking into the surface image and the stories that lay behind the initial picture. The work of artists makes me think differently and I love that. I've been moving pictures around (thanks for that tip Ben) and it is amazing how they appear in different parts of the house. It makes me think of how we think and process things. How we sometimes need to sit back and reflect and maybe reorder things in our heads to see a different perspective.

Is that what art is all about? Searching for meaning and finding a new perspective?